St George is a Star!

Fuck! I read a status profile at Facebook. Yeah! Don’t ask who and why, you never have the right to ask so; now bear with me damn it. Talking about dream and as I about to compose a new poem, I reluctantly decide to write about the pain of chasing dream.


It is raining again and I have not been sleeping much lately as I got bundles of work I need to finish until this moment. I am not sure why, my stress level is low as I have finished everything and done almost every single chores at home and in business. It is Saturday; yes, it is a mellow Saturday afternoon with nothing planned for the evening or so. Sitting here in my room, watching all the Facebook pages updates and status until, one particular status update prompt me to write. I am not sure where and why this initiated me to write. But I cay say, I wish she will have her dream and wish come true. Dang! Déjà vu, the “Somewhere over the rainbow” song is playing mildly from my notebook tone my writing down for now.


I am currently living in a nightmare as the nightmare have stalked me almost every night for the past months but not recently. I am not really glad this nightmare passed through, it is just I am getting a weird feeling. I never ask for sympathy and empathy on me through my writings as you all have always read previously. Yeah! True, it is less suicidal than before and I can say I have not resolve to bulimia to kill my pain. I have no grudge to my previous past instead I cherish the pain of growing to a wiser man everyday.


I am happy that in the past relationship, I hold strong to the value of chivalry where I play St. George to save and sway the distress maiden and then probably ride with her through heaven for eternity. Yeah! That is a fucking dream! Yeah, call me names, named me names; I couldn’t care more about shit you are about to say as you read through my writing. Fuck you if you disagree and fucking thank you if you agree. Vulgarity is part of me, the frustrating me and I wish I could change myself back to a person who is far away from the edge of being insecure and timid for a relationship.



I admit I am timid for a relationship because I do know what every maiden in the vineyard of God wanted. I play St. George because I believe that in every single thing you do, you should firmly grasp for the intention is part of the execution. I know how vulnerable women are but did the previous maiden, laboring at the vineyard of God understand me?


Reassure me please. They failed to understand the actual intention of every St. George most possibly because naturally women want to embrace the witty charmed prince who kissed them from their dream. Dreadful as I might say, they want to taste their first kiss together and relive the moment of heel upside-down if not one-feet-up-feel-like-flying kiss.


Not many maiden remember the ever laboring yet boring St. George who polished their shield and armor to save maiden. St. George did not choose to save a princess like Prince Charming because St. George understood the true concept of love as love is not a dream. Love is about to be hand in hand building a dream. Once part of the dream is labored and fruitful, we live under the dream.


Alas, St. George who saves the maiden was forgotten and died off in shame, humiliation and distraction. Shame of his situation, humiliate by the lesson and distraction comes as attention. You tell me, if I live a life of St. George previously, would you ever care to come close to me and ask? Would you blow kisses to my cheek, blow bubbles around the old oak tree to cheer me or even treat my wound? Would you wash the shroud filled with blood and pull of the broken arrow stuck to my heart. Would you take risk to cure him and own him?


St. George reminisced his past and pondered. A series of thought and lesson learn along the way is here, on his hand. A compendium of past failures and it speaks publically about love and life being in love.


“I ask you for once maiden of the Honor Court, would you unbound his wire mesh armor set? If you come to me and ask, I would smile. If you come and ask me about my past, I have one particular thing installed for you. Hold my hand, my beautiful maiden.”


“I place your palm onto my chest and you can feel all the wounds that I have endured all these while.

If you touch my skin, I am aging faster than my age.
If you feel my heartbeat, the ever burning passion for love is still beating hard.
If you fondle my cheek, this unshaven beard has been hiding all the miseries.
If you taste my lip, you read and talk to my histories.”


What matter is would you come close to St. George whom you first wrongly noticed for a leper? Would you come close to an outcast? Would a maiden from the pheasant family even come close and play Good Samaritan with just a piece of bread? The hunger of for love and despair of dreams never kept St. George from his ever ready mission toward greatness and dreams even if he have to endure more wound and slashes. You read and hear about St. George skills in slaying and sword fighting, but I guess you would still prefer Prince Charming from the foreign land. The land you have never heard before. Your fondness to St. George is remarkable yet, you have not noticed him by the cavern where you usually stroll in the morning.


The caverns where St. George lingers around even during his loneliest hours have not caught your attention. Yet, his cavern is the warmest tavern you ever can enjoy. Splashed with honey, wines and chalices of wonderful potions where every maiden even from the foreign land has ever wanted. Alas, you see the physical of what have embodied St. George.


Flesh rot but heart grows fonder where you failed to understand. What entombed this cold heart is nothing more than the guilt of putting a distress maiden and exposed them to the fiery spells of that fox-in-sheep-costumed-horn-growing Prince Charming.


That is the regret that have been bothering St. George for years now. In the court of Honor, the rules are clear to St. George and unknown to many pheasant maidens who enjoyed the stake of straws deposited by Prince Charming. The court wrote these guidelines for every knight in shining armor.


Thou shall not mask dishonor amongst kindness
Thou shall not tribune false news among the ignorance
Thou shall not hope for retribution after labor chivalry
Thou shall not hunt along the alley close to the vineyard of the Court
Thou shall not speak language of love to the negligent pheasant
Thou shall not restrain those who choose to walk in shadow, shelter them


Has any Sheriff you have met at the Fiesta have told you this?
Has any Viceroy you have corresponded told you this?
Has any knight or Lancelot whispered and told you this?
Has any Prince Charming who kissed your hand told you this?


Dreams are like group of stars and because of that, I chose to build a dream from stars. Stars are beautiful and stars are deemed as something so special.


Stars help navigators to bring fortune and trades as well as diplomacy.
A northern star is not at the north after all, it is the brightest thing you ever saw.
Star is something no more than fragmented and shattered explosion in the past.


Star only born after the explosion or Supernova, unknown to you, and star understood why supernova happened and the shattered story of the past. That is why when you look at star, they are the most beautiful thing and I must stress, it has been beautiful because stars endured a painful journey in the whole processes before you can even see them shine. How far before you can collect stars and make them your dreams? It never been how far, it is the matter how long it takes you to understand the star and only to find them around you.


Why St. George can be well affiliated with stars? Stars, St. George and your dream all have to do with the whole universe.


You wish for a star.
St. George is a star.
St George is you wish.


Long before St. George was born and in his compendium of misery and miserable past, it was written about Andromeda. St. George walks along the path of chivalry where it also relates to the past when Greek gods and goddess rule the earth. Perseus is a mentor to every man and I think many man have not understand the context and the contemporary importance of Perseus aside from the ignored discipline of St. George. He saved Andromeda who was chained naked on a rock, ready to be sacrificed to Cetus the sea monster.


Andromeda Galaxy was named after Andromeda and yet, Perseus was never known. This is because all good men, a true warrior who rode with chivalry chooses to stand at their belief that every women deserve to be treated with kindness even if that course he undertook may not lead him to fame.


St. George is a star as he endured the pain of everlasting heartbreak, knowing that one day a fine pheasant maiden will pick him up tumbling forward. Restless and careless in the past St. George can be; his slashes marked his pasts which are not accountable for any of his misfortune. Sometime, even the wisest person who walks by instinct, guide by the law from the Court of Honor may find it troublesome to please every soul. Nevertheless, St. George is now back on his feet, crafting his long discolored lance and fix the tip with the alloy he mastered from the alchemy from the foreign land. Now, he must ride during dust; a mission has started to unwind the past and probably the lucky Divine intervention.


Before he start his first ride after years and the dream to ride with the Horseman as said in the Book of Revelation, he stand to his feet even it hurt him. Crunching his fist, he can see himself in the crystal clear water; delay will only prolong the hurting and moaning period.


Suddenly a dove landed at the tree stump. That piece of paper wrote “Damsel in Distress”. He smile and said,” Let me die and be a constellation which shall shine upon distress women and may my deed spread among men who wish to understand the real meaning and the key to courtship and love”.