Saturday, September 27, 2008

Labuan

Darn!

I thought that I would never blog any where just like others do. Kind of lame stuff once I think back some of the blogs I have read. Usually I just write and publish writings in my friendster account and sometime I just leave my writings to rot in my hard disk and most of them just are history as my hard disk tend to kabusshh and kaput.

I have nothing much to write currently as i am kind off being really happy with my life. I am still on track toward my goals and my objectives has been clearly ticked as life progress. Minimal words in this first one. I just feel i that a few scribble would do this time.

Actually i am killing my time waiting for my ride back home from La Boo Ante, Labuan. Yeah, Labuan. I mean it.. Gosh. Hey, I apologize. I feel I should write more. Hehehe. I am sorry for that anti-climax sentence that I have said earlier. Once I write and now, blog; I hardly erase what I have typed and feel earlier. So bear with me with the way of my writings.

Labuan. You heard me. So what are all the fusses by KK people of going to Labuan? So far as my career launch pad me to be a Resident Engineer at Labuan, I have been traveling to and fro KK and Labuan. Hush! Nothing much triggers me for any new excitement. Déjà vu! It feels like I have been feeling this way the last time I was in Miri and Sibu.

Thousand apologies to you all from Miri and Sibu but indeed that is how I felt when I am there. Miri does have a lot of shopping complexes and pubs. However, Miri ambient never clicks well with me. Perhaps those Bruneians killed it. Sibu, what actually do you have instead of Prawn Noodle?

So back to Labuan, it is a land lacking of thrill and spills. The ambient of this place is almost similar to KK. Food is darn expensive, especially those at Mamak stall. Do not expect anything close to KL's Maplay and Uptown. Nothing close. It does not taste good and it cost you an unworthy RM9 for a plate of mixed rice which they scooped for me, one medium chicken part and a scoop of mutton. Felt ripped off. I paid and I walked off ignoring the balance. (If i leave a balance for you in your bloody shop, it shows that I am protesting for your service and your pricing. Never expect me to walk in even though that is the last resort. I always have Lelong.com.my to salvage any item that is near to what I intended to purchase.)

Chinese food here is so far better and cheaper compare to KK, however its far expensive than food in Kuching and Penang. How I missed Kuching food! There are a few shop I got to be their regular. First, Nam Thong Chicken rice outlet. That is really a good complete plate of chicken rice. Secondly, a Sarawak based delicacies outlet serving Laksa Sarawak and Salad Chicken rice.

As for clothings. Labuan is the last place on earth you will buy even a pair of sock. Choices are limited and stuffs are highly priced. I wonder where is the consumer association and what part have they done to control the price at Labuan.

Liquor? Hehehe. This is paradise for people who drink. (term of drink: people who indulge in tasting various type of liquor. However some condone drink as partying with alcohol which contradict to my definition.) Liquor is cheap here therefore I have a good two years to taste all liquor available here. The quest have just started with a few gulps of beer and sipping some whiskey. Cocktail drinks are available. Perhaps, a constant blogging on my tasting will dominate most of my columns here. It is sad to see youngster nowadays, left to be dead stupid enjoying partying with their 'She've bust Legally' and 'Yawning Worker Swink'. Do not get me wrong. Both are drinks of their own class. I just wonder if these drinks put the youngster in any social hierarchy as they always thought. Spare yourself some time and try Famous Grouse Whiskey. It is a single malt whiskey with good taste. It linger as you sip it. Some people do not sip whiskey, instead gulping or pumping their full belly with expensive whiskey. It will not portray you any better than stupid dog. Well so far I am happy to reunite with my preferred beers, Budweiser and Sapporo.

I have yet to get myself a tobacco pipe. I have been thinking about switching my cigarettes and cigarillos for a pipe. But then, LA is one kind of a cigarette which keep my going on and a fail-safe tobacco known to me if have to suppress my workload. The last time when I am a frequent patron and the benefactor (Hehehe..Does that sound cute?) of Jazz Room, I usually cache good lump of Romeo and Juliet Cuban Cigars. I puff it and accompanied by good whiskey or rum as I enjoy the music. It is a pure gentlemen entertainment. Those days are far behind my head now. Perhaps I could revive back these Jazz room. So far in Malaysia, I have yet to entered any speakeasy here which support Independent bands and artisans.

I am here. Waiting for my trip back home. I am smiling as I am about to depart. However, something bothers me. I have a cache of contrabands to smuggle out. Who cares? If I have to pay duty, I will pay. Where else can you bring back a good Australian wine for only RM5. I will have fun sampling them with friends. Wine is subjective and it depends on who sample it and how ones indulge it. Expensive wine does not mean it would taste well with your food and if you are having a bad day. While cheap wine does not mean it taste bad. Even if it taste bad, my pot will be the last place it will go with some chunks of beef and mutton.

Basically, Labuan is a place that bores me to this very moment. Pubs are infested with lip service chicks who are eager to drill your deep pocket. A few reliable mediocre pub serving some standard drinks. The bartender are not as what you have expected so far. Others, it is a generic setups of Malaysian pub. Dangdut and Karaoke pubs. Sometime I just wonder, why would you go to these pubs when their singing can be break your balls instead of your glass. Pavarotti will choked every time a guy in shades singing 80's rock song. Bon Jovi's ball grabbing pant is now a hip thing as they scream to some weird 80's rock song.

Few days ago, I was in this pub after heavy persuasion of my assistant to have a good drink as we are discussing some works we need to do. I was having a mug of beer and as we chat, I browsed the whole place. It is purely a shit hole. I embrace myself as I have entered the wrong turf as persuaded. I just focus to what he have to say and what I have to say. But the ambient really distract me from the conversation.

A few guys, sadly I have say resemble a monkey, two macaques and a mutt is having their time of their life. The mutt is shaking his ass thinking Shakira would fall for him. What bothers me is not his look and who cares if a person looks like a mutt or a skunk. It is the way he try to portray with his appearance. One look, both of us agreed that he will be a great illusionist just like Houdini. He disguise himself with a beard, which could be very misleading as this style of beard is mainly for pious person. What happen if this mutt is out with pious cloths walking on the street and some ladies trust him by his appearance? They will be deceived and probably risking themselves to sexual assault.



Another two macaques was straying around in their uniform, which I could partially assumed as workers of some oil & gas or marine company. They was moving around like horny elephants. (Have you watched Discovery recently? When a male elephant gets horny, they even try to engage intercourse with male rhino. If he reluctant or resist this kind of sexual orientation, the frustrated male elephant will start to attack and resulting the male rhino to fatality; perhaps be crowned as St. Sail-Fool, hehehe. Okay, this is some sort of Malaysian humour.). They start to push these GROs to the wall, shielding them with their arm and start a 'Brapa semalam?' (How much per night?) conversation. As they continue to ask (not bargaining, in this particular scenario shows that the girls are resisting these macaques), they start to molest her. I felt sorry for her. Regardless of her occupation, I still have some respect for them even though this oldest profession servants has earlier engage me to a 'Brapa semalam?' talk. I resist them with a smile. I just can not bear to see these macaques and I do give a them admissive looks, signaling them that I do not like their act neither the way of them mistreating ladies.


illustrations from http://flickr.com/photos/joypopturbo/sets/72157606378194810/

They move aside toward a corner and still trying their luck. I wish I could say, "Your looks scare even those newborn babies" or perhaps rhyme "You are so ugly, your momma starts to adopt baby". Lastly, a monkey who thinks he look cool in his synthetic leather jacket; singing some 80s rock song. He does not sound husky instead he is making a mockery of himself. Luckily he did not sing Amazing Grace, which I would say is a blasphemy. He should instead enjoy a cheap liquor under the bridge if he wish to sing in that way or maybe somewhere like Chinese cemetery.

Indeed I have so much to say. The stress of living in Labuan making it hard for me and I can not stop whining. Perhaps you would disaccord with my remarks but basically Labuan is a stop for some people who have never see the world. Influx of workers increase exponentially and in this case it has increased the population of nut case from the ship. An early apology for those who felt this blog might misplace Labuan but this is what I feel.

It is early in the morning, I have to pack my bag with contrabands. I mesmerize the good o' days where I did smuggled a few bottles at a duty free zone at JB to the extend of hanging it on the black oil indicator stick. The bottles did swing everytime we passed through the road bump, luckily it never broke and resulting to "Flaming Proton Saga PLB".

I got to go now. So if I do have the time, I will write again. It must be good to leave Labuan for a week on a long holiday.

ciou!
sto avendo uno scoppio questa festa!!!

Jeff