Minyak Dagu. Love Portion??

Saturday has come and go. I spent the whole day designing a website for my company. Well nothing else I think would be good enough to kill my weekend as I am saving more money to renovate my home. With tight budget to spare, I thought it would be best to stay home like every weekend and watch football match.

To my dismay, EPL will have matches only next week. I got the date wrong. So go for a stroll and end up at a Chinese coffee shop and have nice dinner. A plate of crispy chicken rise and a plate of wild boar cooked with ginger. Nevertheless, at least it is better than previous days where I am stuck with instant noodle. It has been raining heavily almost every night. I did not manage to walk out of my cabin and have dinner. I am satisfied. Once I am done, I took home some leftover with me.

I am tired washing my own cloth. My brain is fatigue over those thinking when I am designing the web page. Glued to the chair for eight solid hours is no fun though. I am glad to see that bright moon and shiny stars. Labuan is a good place to gaze star as artificial lights are less toward the open sea. I make a stop to find a multi-adapter for my computer but to my surprise, I found things much better than that. A shop that have collections of cheap porcelain. Wow! If only I have my car to transport all of these porcelains home. My dinning hall for sure will be the cutest of all at Taman Penampang. I am playing with color scheme for this particular area, where I mix all sort of color to ensure that all my guest will be absorbing vibrant chi as the enjoy their meal. It took me close to good forty minutes to have all scanned into my brain.

I continue with the web page designing work. The first online channel I watched, it featured a documentary titled 'Sound of Heaven'. Hmm, an Australian try to record music of the local pagans around Irian Jaya, Indonesia. Got ousted by the local with bow and arrow, he fled to Micronesia area. There he go through bumps as well where he tried to seek for local who actually assist him in recording chants during rituals. He managed to record but the local shaman got sick and luckily they manage to apiece those unhappy souls. I was thinking, what the hell with you sick bugger? This kind of spirits and mediums is no commercial material anyone should play with.

Tired of it, I switched to another channel, it is the same thing again. Spooky horror movie with lots of bullshit. I change the channel a couple of time and I pause. There is something about this movie. I can not quite get what the title is actually until a few round of advertisement.

It is intriguing. The movie remind me of some local folk story if not urban legend. You can browse through the net and have watch the movie trailer. The title is Perfume : Story of a Murderer. It is a movie based on the novel by the famous Patrick Suskind.

Grenouille is a young man who work as a perfume maker. He seek for the ultimate perfume and indeed it requires the best essences. He later found out that, the best essence come from the best of all sources. He need best essence for assorted beauties. Therefore, he start to collect bodies of ladies around town. His modus operandi remain the same where he smack the lady's head and preserve their virginity. To extract the essence, he have to wrap the body and let the body to release the bodily oil. Then, he cut his victim's hair. He managed to collect most of the essences. The last essence should come from the most beautiful girl around. He managed to kill the last one. The last kill nearly cost his life. When he is about to to be executed, he unleashed his perfume and sway all the guard. He even managed to sway the whole town with his new fragrance even his executor fall on his knee and respect him. It is magical somehow.

Grenouille: You remind me of Rachel Cook. Only you are a version of redhead hooker.
She: Pay or scram! Leper! By the way, I am booked.

Grenouille: You must be tired doing this and sell pickle at night. Are you selling it at Tanjung Aru again?
She: Say one more word and I will castrate you if not skin you.

Grenouille: Do not say it out loud. Twenty for "aircond ice cream" service, done?
She: Jangan ler bang, Awww.. Jangan ler bang, tak rela I.

Grenouille: I feel so Japanese. Bukkake. Mariaaaa Ozaawaaaa....
She: This is the 10th take for this scene. Fucker!!

Grenouille: In Jamie Oliver's Cookbook, I must add extra virgin olive oil. Then, I must add a handful of Pandan, setengah gelas santan, 3 kilo gula Melaka, majerin Daisy, Curry leaves and bunga taik ayam secukup perisa. Kimak kali! Complicated nar juak!

Grenouille: Walla widdy wodoo boo! Lihing, Montoku, Langkau, Tapai, Tuak or Golden Cola? Hmm! Selalu betul o cakap urang putih. Panat lah. Mana satu syok kalau ada pusas bakas ni.

The story goes on but one thing that plays in mind. Is that recipe of the ultimate fragrance is something related to our culture? Remember the famous 'Ubat Dagu'? English translation sound stupid. Hehe, I am not going any closer to what Sharifah Amani said before. Speaking Malay makes me look stupid.

Minyak dagu or Minyak Pengasih is an oil originated from Thailand, It is said that it is extracted from the chin of a dead women. They will dig the fresh grave, burn the chin of the dead and let the oil drip into a bottle. Scary? Of course it is scary. The best essence come from a women who died when she labor her baby. So this oil is then use by the user for no other reason than to be a portion to attract the women they desired. Generically, it is known as magic portion by the local. Some said it is used to inflict sickness too.

Usually this portion is inherited down to the user from the provider or a shaman. But now, condition worsen. This portion is now available even on online portals. There are a few variations available. I will talk about it later.

I saw a friend use that portion before. He just applied it on their face just like how you apply sun screen. He expect that when a girl pass him will see the gleaming and radiant face and straight fall for him. This is if the portion is Grade A. If it is Grade B, then it would take certain time. Well, it did not have any effect at all on him during that period of 10 months though. I am not so sure about him now. He is still my friend.

The is no moral value I would like to stress here just like other people's writing. It just do not work. It is a culture but please be reminded that, regardless of our culture; it comes back to the need of these kind of things. It is low in moral. Yes, the list goes on but purchased oil is said to have no effect. So why bother trying? Inherited is consider better but will it be useful if you are low in motivation to get the girl you want. Why bother screwing all the girls in town? You get accredited into any club? Fuck For More Club? Half Cork Got Fixed Club?

You should treat ladies with respect regardless of her look, background and qualities. Not to forget, I said I want to tell you about the oil and their variation.

First of all is the Nam Man Prai SaNay MaHa Poot. It can charm the opposite sex for any reason. Is sex your motivation? It contain:-

• Nam Man Mae Pranee (Tua Kroo)
• Nam Man Wahn Dok Thong (Tua Poo-Mia)
• See Pheung Nha Phee (Ghost Face Lip Wax)
• Pong Cherng TaGon 59 Cherng (59 funeral pyre powder)
• Nam Man Prai Tua Kroo (This oil transferred from AJ ChangWae’s father)
• Nang Oak Taek powder and Nang Ram Pheung powder (Both powder came from coffin of pregnancy woman)
• Other Holy materials following Lao magic book Biography of Arjarn Changwae

The second one is the local variation from the local natives or the Orang Asli. This one is known as Minyak Perindu. It has a different effect. It is said a portion which can enhance your sales when you apply it somehow.

If you are interested with these charms, you can purchase it. At the mean while, be yourself. I have a pretty looking wife and kind hearted too. I am blessed. You can get yours too with a bit of effort, a gentleman touch, sense of humor and prayer for intervention. It is getting late now and I feel sleepy. Will write again soon. God, I almost forget. I got lots of work for tomorrow. Good Night for now.

Hacked? Whacked???

WTF?!!!

My bloody web site hacked by some shit balls! Damn it. I was about to upload a memo regarding my work and suddenly I came across a deep shit hole! A few server and web hosting provider got hacked by this immersion fool. This some shit we did not want to see. First time for me as well. Got to know why it got hacked! Somehow some Arab dick got in and change my index.htm file. I am not quite sure but my password is sure powerful enough to withstand any hacking tools.

So I changed my password and I managed to reload my original files in. So nothing to worry. I am just wondering why are Arabs so destructive? Are they all the same? Well I can not be sure but I guess their bloody black gold support them so much, a bit too much for themselves. Why care, they are just bloody idiots. I rather save all my swearing to the devil instead.

Neek Hallak!!!! umka sharmota!!! ibn il tinayich!!

Kis em ick, Ibn himar!!!!!

Fucked! Another bad day for me. First the jetty got banged by a cargo ship and now, got hacked!

Boring!!!

I am unsure but tonight has been a long boring night. I am tired of finishing up my latest urban design proposal and probably that is why I felt restless. I have been putting hours of my time finishing it up. Uhh! God, I got so much proposals that I think I need a month to put things together. Palm Meridian design is still on going with three more phases on the way. Cultural village proposal is nearly completed with the initial design ready and hopefully I got the time to finish the write up soon. I got plenty more investment papers to write. Tired!

I planned to take a walk, stroll through this lazy Victoria Town to see if there are any happenings or I may end up at coffee shop. It would be nice to have a cup of coffee and scribbles some more ideas. My brain is saturated.

When I about to walk out, I heard the sound of the rain and without much judgment I assumed it is raining. However, it did not rain at all. WTF! I scramble back all my stuff and walked off my cabin. Tonight will be a good night to take a good rest and to refresh my mind. I walked pass through the street. Nothing much as you all know Labuan is pretty a dead town. Everything closed up by 9PM.

Yeah! I finally made it to some of the shops that are still open. I smile and my pace gets faster.

Jesus, Mother Mary and Joseph!!!! I left my bloody wallet. Darn! I made the biggest U-turn back to the cabin. I feel so sick and I about to break things. God! What is happening to me? Darn!

I took off my jacket and take a deep breath. This kind of boring night comes rarely. So I unwind my mind for a while. Sorting out all those neutron hair pins among the haystack I guess. I am hungry. Forget about those Roti Pratas or Ox tail soups. I am home and I will never get out again. Shit happened whole day. Then suddenly thunder struck and it really rain. I got home just on time to avoid rain.

I end up boiling some water and make myself the same tea I had for couple of days. Yeah! Worst, I open a can of corn soup and have it for dinner. It is late night now. I am still hungry and all I have are extra three cans of sardine in tomato ketchup? Does that bring any good? Well, I think I would have to settle with corn soup for tonight.

Darn! Darn! Daarn!!!!!! I hope I slumber after tired doing some graphic works. Good Nite peeps!

The Third Letter to Sumo

Sumo.

I am very happy for the past few weeks. I am not sure but my heart tell me I am happy. The burden seems to be lifted off my shoulder. I can not quite understand but something tell me that I have did something right. It feels so right and therefore I will be alright.

Weeks before, thinking of you makes me feel guilty regardless of the words of comfort people have said to me. Regardless of the money I have for myself, I feel the burden of buying something that I know i will never own. It is stupid for me to even think that I would pay anyone to revive your soul just to come back to me. I remember the last time you came in a dream.

You shows that there will be a young puppy who look so ill, small, hungry and deserted in a heap of rubbish nearby. So small and looks disoriented, it looks like you during your younger day with extra cut marks. When that small puppy are found, before we can even scream for joy; there you are watching us. You step forward, smiling as you licked the small puppy. Suddenly the dream just disappear and we are left without answers. Sadly, without even a word to say and a pat at your head. I still can feel your warm body when you cry as we are leaving you for less than a month. Condition simply did not permit us to have you for this mean while. I promised two weeks and I will be home. The weekend before I left for that useless court case which ended up with a adjournment, I received the worst news in my life.

Sumo, do you know that it feel to have you in our dream? Perhaps to even hold you and have some words before your departure? I feel so sick of myself for leaving you away from us for just two weeks.

Your dream is inconclusive, however we decided to literally follow what happened in our dream. We dug the whole heap of rubbish, trying to see if we could actually found the little puppy in that dream. Desperation excelled our insecurity, we finally found nothing. We believe perhaps one day you will come again to us when the time is right. Our meeting is destined by the Lord above.

Last month has been a routine going back home to the village as usual. I am not sure but I am quite worry and bothered with the news that the zinc roof for your shrine has fallen suddenly. Some said it were the buffaloes who did it. It tingles me thinking that you nasty boy, perhaps you came out to play and irritates those buffaloes and resulted with them destroying your shrine to get even. Maybe, but I am not sure. Mama, who are devastated with your recent past has adopted a puppy. I would not careless as you is the one I have loved and always love.

The new muddy road leading home really agitate me. I got stuck at the puddle of mud after a rainy evening. Damn! I am so tired and this happened. I manage to reach home and without wasting my time, a few of us jump into the river for a good night swim. I felt better as it was getting dark and chilly.

On the way back from bath, I decided to take a look at Mama's new puppy. To my horror, I found something that is so surreal. Déjà vu! It is you as in the dream!.

My heart pounding for joy! Is that you? That question repeated in my mind seems to be for eternal. How can this be happening? This is so fast! The last time you came was on the 7th night of your passing. It was dark, I managed to see you with this small torchlight. I am puzzled, disarray and speechless. Can this really happen? Sumo reincarnated into a new puppy so fast.

I am touched. I am so touched. This love we had for ourself is so strong. Sumo reincarnated on the 40th day of his passing. This is unplanned, this came so fast. I stay steadfast and believing that was destined again. But why does this need to happen?

I remember clearly the day of Sumo's passing. The night before, he leaped out of the house balcony. We believed he has a good reason probably he held himself to his last breath and choose to pass outside. Another possible reason is to trade his life? I am not so sure with the metaphysic that is happening. I am not sure bible said anything about taking one's life with the permission of the Father. Less likely, Sumo is a dog. Somehow, perhaps as what we always heard that loves conquer all. Love is magical! Love make you do things that you never though off? All I know, I still miss my O' Sumo. His name makes me feel so heavy with guilt. His name make me sob when I reminisce the old days.

Now, that puppy is for sure an incarnation. But am I be so sure? Coincident? I have nothing to loose since I have been the biggest looser for almost two months.

Words of Thanks, A Compilation of Poems - IV

CAPTAINED

Wars between me and my parents is a battle of every adolescents, 
I knew I was blind and innocent,
I am the bloody brat, a rebel of missed orientations,
I walk through the path of ignorance,
I read books of anticipation,
I embrace the conscience of disillusion,
I worship the essence of intolerance,
I built a fort from bricks of confusion,
I sail a boat filled of hatred without any reflection,
I see freedom as my instruments,
I prepare a coup to restrain the captain,
I knew for soon that this voyage is over with great deception.

Storm came and battered this great schooner,
I never expect this to come any sooner,
I saw the captain roped at the timber,
I remember the prayer when I am younger,
I held the rosary praying for my Mother,
I recall the cross and remember the Savior,
I glance at the light above and I know it is my Father.
I made penance with great sorrow.


By now, I shed my tears of joy,
I know how that I still have them like a little boy,
I remember I have a chest of toys,
I rush to open and I found a writing said ‘ Ahoy!
I am now the captain of a new ploy. 
I fathered a little boy,
I am not sure I am ready for a new broil.
I am sure this is an epic worse than Troy.
I met the old Captain, who is now the new viceroy,
I saw his smile as he held a gargoyle,
I stood as he coy,
I was given three beans of soy,

He said, remember the story of the Beanstalk Jack’s turmoil,
Roman Virgins bargaining for oil,
For riches also born from soil,
No one born and made hoi polloi,
Phoenix risen from ash of burnt poi,  
Life is an imperfect circle of coil,
Make sure your plan never fail and foil.

Originally By Jeffery J Pirah

Words of Thanks, A Compilation of Poems - III

TIME AND TIMES

The forest seems to be so thick and yet my father cleared it in a year.
The river seems to be so wide and yet my father built a bridge across it in a month.
The island seems to be so far and yet my father paddled across it in a week.
The trail seems to be so long and yet my mother walked it in a day. 
The mountain seems to be so high and yet my mother scaled it in an hour.
The ravine seems to be so deep and yet my mother descended into it in a minute.
My heart seems to be so dark and yet they light it up in a second.  

Originally by Jeffery J Pirah

Words of Thanks, A Compilation of Poems - II

THEIR WORDS

My mouth said the words portray my father’s virtue.
My ears heard the words of my mother’s advices.
My eyes saw the words of my father’s burdens.
My body felt the words of my mother’s obligations.
My hand held the words of my father’s trusts.
My leg walked the words of my mother’s path.
My heart shared the words of my father’s past.
My soul soaked the words of my mother’s love.

Originally by Jeffery J Pirah

Words of Thanks, A Compilation of Poems - I

WORDS OF GRATITUDE

How many words can we make to express our gratitude?
How many times words can we make to express our gratitude?
How many words at times can we make to express our gratitude?
How timely words can we make to express our gratitude?
How timing and words can we make to express our gratitude?

Look at your parents in their eyes and we shall know the answer.

Countless word I found every time would not express my gratitude.
Every second of my life, words cannot express my gratitude.
Every word in my sentence reflects no clarity of my gratitude.
Every time seems to be the wrong time to show my gratitude.

Every word phrased in perfect timing could not reflect my gratitude.

Originally by Jeffery J Pirah

Second letter to Sumo

Part I

The clock is ticking and I am waiting and still your voice, your silhouette and yourself has yet to appear upon me. I am counting on you to help me to go through this misery and turbulence hours where I am yearning for you. The emptiness in me now is nothing compare to what divinity and honorable loyalty that you have for me. I am still counting the weight of this misery and yet regardless of the weight of this guilt, you shoulder more and countless sufferings through the period I have being negligence or imprudent toward you.

This letter is for you, I wrote it sincerely and yet I am still feel the guilt in this room as I lay missing you. You have been a great companion, a champion to my intelligent and a loyalist in countless occasions and yet I have the heart to do this to you. Again, I am here whining about missing you, yearning for you, calling for you and apologizing for things that I should have thought before this. I feel like I can cry a river, I can moan for this emptiness but then it will not change a thing. It will not even heal this wound in my heart. My soul was ripped apart; my heart shattered and my conscience just tangles and lingers on what I could have done.

I read poems and every poem hits me hard and pointing it all back to me. I know I am taking the full responsibility for this but it does not make me feel any better. Regardless of all the good deeds I have done, I cannot get you to forgive me and fulfill this emptiness. One’s life is too precious to be taken lightly and moreover I have been sinful. I seek for divine intervention, which would be less likely to happen to bring you back to fill my days in my longer journey. Night has passed and yet, I cannot get over with this. These lonely nights paint my life gray. I weeped and reflects on my sins, I just cannot stop myself glancing at all the spots where you usually be. You will be there laying and snoring in the comfort of our home after a good meal. You will be here by my side, accompanying me to rest. You never forget those good night pecks you wanted from me and those lickings from you tell me that you have a fine day. The way we shared our bed makes you no different than others whom I love regardless of your origins. Hugs and perhaps night bumps from me sometime awakes you and still you never mind about it. Midnight rain scares you as you watch over the rain if it would flood our house, fear it may endanger us all. You wake up early and waste your time with those formless teddy bear before your routine wake up calls. God, how did he get those bright brain and being very responsible? Your wake up calls is as perfect as alarms where I can choose to snooze you or call it off. You are angry with our inconsiderable so-called neighbors who cause noisiness, which may disturb our slumber.

Part II

God, Saints and angels, I pondered and think, he is so smart and why is he called to rest so early. Did he choose this path? Or is this is written in your judgment books where time is limited to him. I disagree for his short stay and I am sad since the day he left me. God, if there is heaven, please do not leave him in Limbo, as he is a very good companion. He did his task well, he has been behaving well however, he is reasonably naughty at times. Do not punish him but embrace him as one of the best you have. Send the best angels who can give him lights to heaven today. I am sending all my hopes in these simple prayers and wish he could appear in my dreams and tell me that he is fine and happy. If there is no heaven for immortals like him, please improve his karma marks. Please consider him on him reborn. Make sure he gets the best forms of creation. Please backed him with someone who is much better than me. Or else, preserve him and bring him back to me when time is appropriate and permits. I can wait for years for his reincarnation and I know that is the most I can hope for.

The night blows the wind and I must believe it would be the wind of change, yet I cannot feel you beside me. I am still counting time to close my eyes and take another rest for the day. Memories flash through my mind and everything surround me makes me think of you. Friends and love ones tell me to try to get over with it, but you are so dominant in my life I cannot stay astray from reminding myself for what I have put you through. The pain and the agony you went through is so painful for me. Some said probably you personally take the course of intervention in absorbing all those bad lucks, which suppose to hit me million times. I wish I could have shoulder it together with you. You speak silence where I speak resilient at this moment. Are we both speaking the same language?

Some said you have taken the course to ease my daily burden. I never wanted you to think you are a burden to me. You are my treasure chest. I have yet to open and explore you; and I would not mind if you are an empty oak chest. You have the profound quality of antiquities where one’s eyes cannot value you. It takes a deep understanding to uncover the whole mystery of an old sunken treasure chest. If could hear me calling you and unravel this through and memories of you. You are more than what I could ever want in a close companionship. Please listen to me even if you are far, up there enjoying your time. Please take this journey as a temporary distance, which separate us by time, space, matrixs or anything that has came between us. I plead you to hear what I have to say. I beg for forgiveness as an old friend.

My heart is so vulnerable since everything here is all about you. The deepest ravine shed no fear. You have the love and heart to match the biggest mountain we could have saw as we stroll along the beach. Cracks appeared so distinctive in my soul. I know you have not forsaken me but I have been waiting for days to meet you. Please leave me with a vision and make me to accept your departure. I hope you are not alone in your journey. I wish that I could torch you the path of eternal happiness as we walk through the golden gate at the end of the rainbow.

I now grieve and I will stay strong. I believe in meeting you again. Earthly hours are so slow and heavenly hours could be very fast. Be patient and probably in days, we will meet again. Probably God would consider delivering your soul back to me. Please come to me back in joyous way. God speed!

Part III

I am now about to pack all your toys and all your belongings. I know you would come back someday. Your towel is here beside me. I have been hugging it to sleep. Your teddy is here, dried however not wash yet. This carpet seems to preserve your scent. Your sardine can at the kitchen is still untouched. My torn sandal which you enjoy flipping will not be stitch back. I am still looking for your green sweater. You have grown so fast, it did not fit you any longer. Your appointment card is still in the car. You blue toothbrush still hang beside mine. The broken red scoop is an artwork. Arghh! It is a cheap brittle china product I rather say. I grin as I think of how we got to trick you into the bathroom for a good shower. The pail, remind me how you drink from the tap and pail. It is so obvious when you drink from the tap. We could hear you do it. I have just lighted up this fragmented mosquito coils, which you love to break. That blackout curtain is filled with you paw marks. Those utensils are still in the box you love to bite and shred apart. Where is you black collar? Where is your pillowcase? How could I live here longer? How I can be headstrong to wait for your upcoming? I am packing all my things and leave. It is too hard for me to bear. Memories of you battered my soul. How I wish a soul could be bought by money. I would easily buy your soul out. I am speaking a fool’s language again. How could that possibly happen? If your name Lazarus, would it makes any different?

My soul is cold tonight and so as my chilly heart thinks of you and all those things you have did. I try to warm it with all those memories of us both. I am so restless thinking of you. I try to get you a tombstone but I think it would be a sad journey. You are just embarking on a temporary journey. Therefore I would build you a beautiful shrine, singing tributes on our lively, cheerful yet short relationship. It would be build from colorful river stones, marking your beautiful days; list made of brown irregular sandstone, marking your fur color and the border that seclude you from the outside world which you have missed and a small statuette of a dog. Do you still need angels? Or you are strong enough to walk the path to heaven alone? St. Michael probably could have specially called upon beautiful angel dogs to guard you to heaven. When you walk, please stop occasionally. I know you are strong to walk the distance but please take a short glimpse at me here who have been thinking of you. Angels, I count on you through my showers of prayers to ensure my beloved one is enjoying his trip safely. Father thou art in heaven; be very gentle, give him merits and qualified him for the best seat in heaven where he can always see me here. He would not bite anymore; worry not my Father. In You I trust and pray. Amen.

Part IV

Torn bodies could be stitched but torn soul will never heal regardless of compliments and achievements. Shattered dreams leave cracks. No words could define my feelings. Do you have the empathy and sympathy for me, the poor soul? Do I look estrange and astray today?

One day, perhaps I will find you in a heap of summer leaves beside the grotto. Witness by Mother Mary, you will be reborn. Reincarnate into my life once more with this Catholic teaching. In this garden, we will play again. In this vast and beautiful garden, you earned a freedom with me watching you from afar. I promise that I will be back every evening after a fruitful days with your favorite food. By then, please do not leave me again. I feel what you felt. Separation is the worst thing that could come between us again.


Last night, I try to call you into my dream. Once more, I failed to meet you. How I wonder if I can meet you just once. This one time just to say sorry for all I have done. Tonight, I keep my finger cross and hope you would come again. Memories of you flashed through my mind. Remember those happy times when we are together. All those special moments will be here in my mind forever. I wonder and every night I wonder if I could make it up to you for all those pain you have gone through. I heard you cried a million rivers. You keep up the faith, believing that I shall return. Be strong regardless those red weary eyes. I am letting you down every day did I?

So many 'If' questions playing in my mind and makes me think that such tragedy could be avoided. I cannot figure anything but missing you very much.

Part V

Weeks has passed, it is kind of hard to take away this agony of passing. All the good time we have shared, reminisce in my mind. Thoughts of you come and go as days passed through. Everything reminds me of you. Can you see how happy when I found your green torn sweater you worn as you grow and that black collar that you wear till it almost torn apart? I hope you understood how we all have missed you through all this empty days.

Talking about you makes me stronger as I have fought all this feeling. Tears runs dry after weeks of you passing. Your passing is no longer something we are sad about. It is always a time of reflection about how beautiful the life we shared in that cursed home.

Every time I think of you I smile. All this sadness has fade away. I love your smile. I love you, my little rebellious brat! I wish you are here and as always to welcome me back home everyday. I love the way you mug our food even if you have better food. I love the way you spoiled our stuff. I love the way you tricked us. I kept all those bite marks of pens and everything.

I am still waiting for your second coming and your reincarnation. I will always remember that little puppy you have shown in our dream. Surreal as it may seem but put a high hope to meet you again once you are ready and come back to our life. Come back again, my dear. Come back and fill our days with joy and troubles. I regretted that I have never got you a Christmas gift. I will wait for you, and the first Christmas once you are back with us; I will get you the most beautiful shoe for you to chew and perhaps the ugliest teddy bear you ever seen and make captive during your lonely hours.

Part VI

Next month probably one of the busiest month of the year as my sister's wedding is getting near and we are settling into the new house you have always heard about. We probably would not come back to visit your shrine. However we will be back the following months to clear and wash your shrine and add some more toys you have always love to play with. I tried to make a small garden around your shrine with butterfly flying around and beautiful morning glory or sunflower beside you. You can watch the weird morning glory blooms; you can have the brightest sunflower to brighten up your days and also some roses that smell so fine. You can play with balls on a lazy afternoon. Maybe you can destroy all the Frisbee that you could not catch. Roll around the lawn and run through those beautiful beds of flowers. I want you to see me grow old as I watch you grow old too. We get weaker together as the days past through. You will cheer my day and I will cheer yours. Growing old would not be as painful as it should be. By then I can call you my good O’ friend.

Part VII

Dearest old friend who thou art in heaven, how is your day? I am here alone thinking of you. Hours of loneliness like this make me think of you. You have been the best companion on lonely hours like now. I remember how you lay beside me, just watching me and keep me accompany. How I wish those hours could be unwind and makes you here at this moment. Do you know how I miss those hours just having you beside me. Late hours at night you can just watch me working on my work. How these sentimental songs remind me of you? Sumo, I heard that your shrine fell apart on your 40th day? I am sad however I am happy as well. You have never change regardless of the medium and I know you are at my side as I type this tribute column of you. Funny! I think you may have upset those buffaloes at the village. I do not know how you did it but it is purely you. Am I right? Probably you provoke those buffaloes with your naughtiness and they probably chase you. You disappeared into your shrine and they take revenge on your shrine. Well, I promise to go home and have your shrine ready and clean.

Old Friend, probably I may be the worst master any good friend may have but I am sure I am the most understanding one. Sumo, all those memories is never buried together with your body. Somehow, it lingers around and it really made me miss you and yearn for those times you and me are together. Everything seems to remind me of you. I have all of your belonging here with me. Can you believe Sumo, that someone has just named his dog ‘Sumo’ as well? A non-believer of a good pet has just adopted a wounded puppy and made a good shelter for his new companion. You live as a legacy of a pure naughty, rebellious and yet kind friend anyone ever wanted. Once I built my altar at home, you will have a spot under it as a loved one. Probably best known as the most loved one. memories of you will never die as long as we breathe air and feed on food. Not to forget, you will have a large portrait among family photos. What can I do and will do to make you feel deserved in my heart and in my home? I know your passing is never being intended and it has never crossed our mind. For all I know, you have been a strong-minded friend with a lot in common. Even if I shout your name, you will never be here again but your angelic soul is felt every time I want you beside me. Praise you my old companion. Never ever forsake us here, as we always think of you in our daily life. O’ Lord, thank you for taking care of my good Sumo. He is one of a kind and the best present I ever get. Short stint is all it takes to make me think how wonderful Your creations are. Thanks as well for all those smooth journeys I had with Sumo.

Unforgettable, that's what you are. Unforgettable, although near or far. Like a song of love that's clings to me, how the fond of you does things to me. Never before, has someone being more. (Nat King Cole)

Sumo, my life is now in order. I got in to this new home. How I wish you could be here. You will have the best view of a hill from the balcony. You can see chirpy bird flying around. Alas, it never meant to be. Darn! Wish you were here. It would be colorful dining area with lots of bright colored wall and best of all; you have a big room for yourself.

The First Letter to Sumo

It is late night and I am still wondering what is up with you miles away. I try to keep these thoughts away, however it lingers here in my mind. I just could feel your existence near me even though we are far apart.

I put these puzzles of our past together. Few of these puzzles are missing and yet it is purely beautiful. Remember Googoo your brother, whom we missed dearly for the past months. He is the missing pages of our memoir and yet we are all so perfectly fit into a family that we never thought it would be. It is unscripted, it is incredible and it is so great that our time together seems to be for eternity.

Days ago, our beautiful written memoir come to an abrupt halt. It is so incredible with your eagerness; my insensitivity and the bloody celestial luck put us single handedly apart. I just cannot believe with just one strive, your create chaos that you never thought of. It is not your fault; it will never be your fault. I just can not put any blame in you. You are just a baby who is looking for some excitement on that rainy day.

Hours ago, I break in tears when I about to leave you. Even though this will be temporary, I find my weak soul cannot bear the pain to see you left without me. I just cannot think about the nights you will be without me. I remember those goodnight licks you always give me before you fall asleep. I remember those routine morning calls you gave me just in time for my morning groom. I remember those sardine cans I opened for your breakfast. Exactly the smell of that sardine you always love. Those gallons of water I left in the pail for you every morning. The way you bite and try to stop me from going to work even though you initiate it earlier. You understand the reason why I am out everyday better than those kids whom I know.


The way you bark and gestures as you wish me a safe journey and a fruitful day. I too wish you a good day at home. I know it would be a boring whole day alone. You can trash everything at home and enjoy the fun of being a rebel and I still love you. Your pee-pee and your poo-poo is a headache but I still laugh although I cannot bear it. I am sorry for those swear and curse on it but it is really bad. You trash those newspapers, shoes and everything you can find. You are a natural born anarchist. How can I blame a dear soul like you?

You wait in eagerness for me to come home. Probably most time I get it wrong but somehow I make it right for you. You just love those foods I bought you. I simply never get to know the real name of that fish and here I am; thinking and yearning for you. Those grilled stingray and chicken wing are your favorite. As I walk past through those stalls where I usually get you those stuff, the aroma awaken me and remind me that you are not with me here again. The moment I passed that Indian grocery shop, I remember you and your favorite sardine. Who else will buy those cans of sardine if not me? Chocolate cookies and full cream milk is always something you craze for. You also indulge in good fruits.

You just can stand still when I am home with you. You just know how to make my hectic days seem so cheerful. You are so rebellious and yet you are an angel in my heart. You can be a dirty corny boy! The way you hump is an eyesore and yet I still love you. The way you gnaw my hand and legs make you look worse than a beggar and yet you enrich my days. The way you look at me like a pity old chump is nothing close to a little devil ready for a carnage spree. I will never forget the way you fart and burp after those satisfying meals, which put you in a class of chauvinist male. You are a little liar who pulls a lot of sneaky tricks and pranks on me. You are a supreme soul by your own class. You are smart and you outgrown others.

Regardless of anything I can think of now, you really make my day by being at my side. Now, I just have to bear with these moments where you will be far away from me. All I can do now is to pray that we both be strong in this turbulence moment. I failed you and I apologize for that. If not for that pigeonhole where we used to stay, we will never be like this. I pray that somehow if you could spare me more time to make perfect our dream haven, I will make sure we can be together again. Please dear; do not cry over our distance. You will always here in my heart and I always think of you too.

Thanks for what you have done for me.
Thank you for those morning calls.
Thanks for those barking to remind our crazy neighbors from waking us up.
Thanks for taking care of our home.
Thanks for staying all night when it is about to flood.
Thanks for believing and waiting for us everyday.
Thanks for being a good friend and loyal listener.
Thanks for those times you have spent to make my day.
Thanks for ensuring our safety in every journey.
Thanks for fulfilling some of our wishes.
Thanks for listening to most of the things I have said and shared

Lastly thanks for being understanding this temporary separation is unavoidable.

I will come and sway you back home with me if condition permits. I love you, Sumo!

Remarks : Fuck you residents of Caller Road ,Putatan, KK. You are merely selfish fuckface who do not understand what Love is about. I hope you are all happy now. I hope that someday you find my current situation is your household agenda. May God send you thunder and plagues to wipe off you bloody immersion fools.